“Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words”. George Elliott
Knowing how to make friends as an introvert is one of the most valuable things an introvert could know. So many introverts have a problem getting to know new people, but this can be stopped by following the tips in the article. Today, a lot of people think it is ok to be alone and not have friends.
For different reasons, they hate being friends with people and would cut off anyone that even attempts to get close to them. If you belong to the school of thought that subscribes to the notion that not having friends makes you some kind of superman or a different species, then you should have rethink.
A recent Harvard study concluded that having friendships in our lives promotes brain health. The right friends help us deal with stress, make better lifestyle choices that keep us strong, and allow us to rebound from emotional, and even health issues more quickly.
It is expedient to note that if having friends does not make you a better and happier person, then you are not in the right association. However, there is another group of individuals who know how to make friends as adults but have a problem practicing how to keep friends.
All these and more, are some of the benefits of friendships. And if by the end of this article, you decide to follow the tips that will be listed here, I bet you would be more eager than ever to start a healthy friendship as soon as possible.
Of course, I expect that this article is more relatable to introverts because more often than not, they are the ones who have issues making friends.
However, if you are willing to work with me on these tips, roll up your sleeves and get ready to experience a change!
1. Develop A Healthy Mental Image
Mental imagery is important to the way we think about different things and so, you must develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people.
Some people have the phobia of meeting new people; maybe from the thought of not being good enough and you must realize that there is every possibility that the new person you are concerned about making a good impression on might also be worried about the impression they would make too.
Eliminate every fear of not being accepted as you are by a new person as this would eventually develop into mental fear and make you shy towards meeting new people. Just do you, and be confident that any new person you meet would see the beauty in you too.
2. Take The Initiative
Let’s say you just relocated to a new city and you feel like you need a friend. How do you make friends in a new city? How do you make friends when you have no one?
Well, I guess you have to understand that someone has to make the first move and you must risk making the first move. Introduce yourself at every opportunity and get to know the other person better.
Smiling is the best way to successfully approach a new person. Try smiling, people attune more to positive emotions when they are forming new relationships.
Approach the other person with a warm smile and make obvious attempts to get to know the other person. Make random comments about your immediate environment, give a compliment, request for help, or offer your help, share things about yourself and give the other person a chance to say things about him/herself.
3. Be Genuinely Open
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges” Joseph F. Newton
You should share personal stuff about yourself when appropriate with people you want to develop a close relationship with. Make a genuine effort to know someone and don’t put your walls high up.
When making new friends, open yourself genuinely with faith that they are good people. As hard as it might be to accept, you cannot form any new connection if you cannot trust others and be willing to take risks without the fear that things would not work out.
This might seem like a lot for private people but you cannot have a genuine friendship if you are not ready to open yourself up.
4. Develop An Attitude Of Acceptance
Accept people the way they are. Before you begin to meet new people and make friends, you must learn to accept human differences and limitations.
There’s every chance that you would not notice a person’s flaws immediately you meet them but if you have come to accept that person unconditionally you would be able to accept them despite their flaws.
Conditional acceptance destroys friendships because you might have set a particular standard and when the person does not meet up you get disappointed.
Friendship is a true connection between people regardless of their political or religious beliefs. Except the qualities of this person become toxic to you, you must learn to genuinely accept people for who they are.
5. Find Shared Similarities
In the words of C.S. Lewis “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” It is easier to connect with friends who have similarities with you.
People that share your likes and dislikes, your personality traits, your political or religious beliefs, your view and perspective towards life, and even your music taste.
The more you hang around people who share the same beliefs as you, the more likely you are to find a good friend. Maybe by joining a book club, at that game center, you frequently visit, at your workplace, or in a religious or professional gathering.
It might be hard to unconditionally accept someone who does not share the same beliefs as you as you might always end up having a conflict of interests which is not healthy for a good friendship.
6. Be You
I strongly advise against trying to change yourself when you meet a new person. Accept yourself the way you are because a successful relationship is based on mutual respect and you must first recognize your self-worth. Be friends with yourself first. Think about what you like about yourself.
When you are comfortable with yourself, it shines out of you. The truth is, no matter how skilled you might think you are, you cannot hide your true self for long; it is only a matter of time before the other person finds out and this usually does not end well.
If you as an introvert, force yourself to be vocal and brassy, or you as an extrovert force yourself to appear quiet and gentle, eventually you would not be able to keep up the façade and the persons you have befriended might gradually shift away because you are not the same person they met.
Just be yourself, be as courteous as possible, but be yourself and that way, the potential new friends know you as you are and decide if they want to continue the friendship or not.
7. Connect Genuinely And Be Committed
When you bother yourself with what impression you make on others, and by that thinking, calculate what you say and what you do, you miss the whole point of friendship. Of course, you should work on how you present yourself but when that becomes all you think about you would not be able to genuinely connect with the potential friend.
Show genuine respect and love to others because in your genuineness is when you would find people who are also willing to genuinely connect with you.
Also, you must commit yourself to friendship. Get to know the person as an individual. His/her likes, dislikes, hobbies, upcoming goals, values, dreams and aspirations, perspectives to life, and everything you should know about a person. Always get back to them, appreciate them when necessary. Send gift cards, gifts, appreciation texts, a genuine hug would even go a long way.
Remember important dates too, don’t take any friendship for granted. If you are a forgetful person, set reminders on your calendar.
To get genuine friends, you have first get interested in others instead of trying to get them interested in you. You must always make efforts to stay in touch and check up on the person from time to time, depending on how close the friendship is.
8. Be Reliable And Trustworthy
The fact that you might have been hurt by past friends does not mean you should go ahead to hurt your new friends. You should not shy away when your friends are going through hard times and need a shoulder to cry on.
Let them know that you would always be there for them. True friendship requires sacrifices of your time and energy and you must be willing to sacrifice if you want to make new friends. This does not mean you let yourself be taken advantage of.
It is important that you know where to draw the line and learn to say “NO” for the sake of your mental health. Nevertheless, be someone people know they can count on and be a person of your word.
If you cannot make it for a scheduled meetup, it is polite to call as soon as you realize you might not make it and apologize. It is rude to stand people up without an explanation because it can destroy a potential friendship.
Also, be a good listener and be attentive to details. It is the little things that do matter in starting a new friendship. You don’t want to be the person who has the better story or the soberest story.
As much as possible avoid interrupting people or abruptly changing the topic in a conversation. However, being a good listener is truly the way to a good friendship but you must also be trustworthy. Keep private, things that have been communicated to you privately.
In a bid to make new friends you must be careful so as not to get into toxic relationships that would affect your mental health. You do not need to make a lot of friends because opening yourself up to the wrong people can destroy you.
9. Be Prepared To Stand Alone
As controversial as this might sound before you establish a new friendship you must know that friends come and go. Be committed to your values and convictions.
Don’t change yourself because of social acceptance and don’t be desperate to make friends. There are situations in life you must go through alone.
10. Have Boundaries
It is important to have boundaries and let people understand where the line stops for you. Learn to say no to things you do not feel comfortable engaging in.
This is especially important if you are looking to know how to make friends at college or online because in both cases, the tendency to go overboard in the friendship is very high. And so, you must ensure that you set the boundaries.
11. Know Whom To Befriend
Some people say they can be friends with whomever they want and they believe they are strong-willed and cannot be easily influenced. I firmly disagree with that notion because your association is what defines you.
You should be friends with people that help you grow, or challenge you to be better. A person’s good qualities and life progress are what should attract you.
So, there you have it: the best guide on how to make friends when you have none. This guide makes you know your self-worth and make yourself likable and approachable. You seldom meet the most genuine people while sitting in the comfort of your home.
As much as possible, you have to work on the practical guides on how to make friends as stated in this article. You must not assume or conclude that you are a terrible person and that is why you do not have friends.
It might just be that you are not making enough effort and like you have read in the article, the little things do matter. Take that first step today, remember to be you, do not doubt your self-worth, be as courteous as possible, be a good listener, and watch yourself get surrounded by the best people yet!
FOR YOU:
Hey there! Thank you for reading this article. I do hope that with the tips here, you must have learned how to make friends and influence people. This is very important, as humans are social animals. We crave to always be in the company of other persons.
However, we must also ensure that while being friends with them, we have to ensure that leave an imprint that will change their lives for the better, with them. Go out there, meet new people, and make new friends. I promise you will not regret it.
