What are the Signs Of A Boring Marriage?
You’ve been married for a while now, and you’re starting to wonder if it’s worth it.
You’ve forgotten what it feels like to be excited by your partner and the life you share together.
You feel like you’re stuck in a rut, and that nothing can pull you out of it.
If this sounds familiar, then you may be experiencing signs of a boring marriage.
Here are some things to look for:
16 SIGNS OF A BORING MARRIAGE
1. YOU NOW SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR PHONES.
If a couple spends more time on their phone than with each other, then that is a very bad sign.
It’s important to focus on your spouse and your relationship.
Don’t let the distractions of your phone get in the way.
Phones are addictive and dangerous.
For example, they can distract you while driving which is a very bad thing to do.
If you spend more time with your phone than with each other, then that is a sign that there may be problems in the marriage.
In other words, put down your phone!
You don’t want to lose something as precious as your marriage by being so distracted by the silly things on your phone!
2. NO CUDDLING ANYMORE.
Don’t get caught up in the little details.
Cuddling may seem like a playful pastime, but it is one of the most important ways couples can connect.
Research shows that cuddling is critical for your physical and mental health.
According to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology, couples who cuddle more are happier and more satisfied with their relationships overall.
Cuddling is also good for you when it comes to your physical health.
When we cuddle with our partners, we experience an increase in oxytocin (the hormone responsible for bonding) which reduces stress and anxiety, promotes better sleep, lowers blood pressure and increases immune function.
Couples who cuddle regularly report feeling more connected to each other than those who don’t.
Cuddling allows you to communicate without words; sometimes just being close to your partner can tell them everything they need to know about how much you love them.
3. YOU DON’T PLAN TRIPS OR HOLIDAYS TOGETHER.
It’s one thing to plan a vacation, but if you and your partner don’t include each other in the process, you could be headed for a boring marriage.
Take it from Esther Perel, M.D., a couples therapist and author of the book Mating in Captivity: “In this process of planning together is how you learn to dream together.”
Include your spouse in the conversation. Ask them what they want out of this vacation.
Maybe they want beach time and sunbathing while you want world-class food and architecture (that’s me!).
It’s important that both partners are getting what they need out of their trip, so make sure to talk about it beforehand so there’s no resentment on either side.
4. NO MORNING KISSES AND NO GOODNIGHT TEXTS/KISSES.
No morning kisses and no goodnight texts/kisses.
Morning kisses and goodnight texts/kisses may seem like small things, but they’re a great way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
Yes, it can be difficult to kiss your spouse on the lips when he or she is still sleeping, but you can still kiss them on the temple or forehead to give them a sense of being loved and adored.
Even if they don’t wake up because of the kiss, it will still leave a message of affection and love—and who doesn’t want that?
Luckily, there are many things you can do to change this state of mind:
When this happens, it can feel like you’re being left out, but the reality is that there’s more damage being done to the relationship than just making one person feel left out: there’s also the problem of having one person treat another like they aren’t worth considering.
The fact that your partner isn’t including you in their plans or decisions says something about how much value they’re placing on your input, and it means that if things don’t change soon, then getting back together with them may not be possible if you want to be with someone who considers your thoughts and feelings worthy of their attention.
5. JOKES ARE NO LONGER FUNNY TOGETHER.
A couple no longer laughs together. If you don’t laugh and smile with your partner, then it can be a sign that something is missing from your marriage.
It’s not just that they’re not laughing at each other’s jokes, it’s that they’re not sharing funny videos or memes with each other.
They’re also not creating inside jokes together, and they’re no longer going to comedy shows or creating pranks as a couple.
Laughter is one of the easiest ways to bond with someone, but if you don’t laugh with your spouse anymore, this may mean that there isn’t any intimacy left in the marriage.
6. THEY DON’T APPRECIATE YOUR GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS.
Having someone who understands and supports you is imperative for a happy relationship.
If your partner doesn’t understand or support your goals and aspirations, it’s possible that they don’t know you as well as they should.
Your partner should be your biggest supporter.
They should always listen to you with open ears and offer to help in any way they can.
When they stop being a part of your goals, aspirations and dreams in the littlest way possible, it’s a big sign that the marriage has become boring.
7. NO LONG-AWAITED HUGS AFTER A LONG DAY AT WORK OR SEPARATION FOR ANY REASON.
If you and your spouse no longer hug at the end of a long day, it’s probably because the spark has fizzled.
One way to fix this is by having a serious conversation with your spouse about physical intimacy.
Ask them what they feel is missing in their life, and listen carefully to their answer.
Once you find out what’s missing for both of you, use that information to make changes together.
For example, if one person says they want more time alone with their partner, suggest a weekly date night where you can enjoy each other’s company without any distractions or interruptions from kids or work responsibilities.
Another idea might be taking turns planning date nights so that both people get something they enjoy doing while being together as well.
If both people agree on wanting more time alone but neither wants to plan anything then have each person come up with three ideas for activities each week which can be picked randomly when it comes time for the date night activity (the date night planner will pick one idea from list A and one idea from list B).
This helps keep things fair if there are different interests between spouses because there won’t always be an even split in who gets what kind of activity during these times together.’
8. YOU CAN’T WAKE THEM UP EVEN IF THERE IS A FIRE IN THE HOUSE.
If your partner can’t be woken up, even if there is a fire in the house, it is clear that they are not concerned about you or your safety.
They are sleeping and not worried about their children’s safety either.
It means that he/she doesn’t care about their relationship with you and has lost interest in it.
If your partner can sleep through a fire, then there is something missing from the relationship.
9. WHEN YOU DON’T TRUST THEM ANYMORE.
You might not be willing to admit it, but when you don’t trust your partner, you’re setting yourself up for a boring marriage.
You can start by questioning whether they spend too much money or wonder if they’re keeping life-altering secrets from you.
Sometimes, trusting your partner simply means giving them the benefit of the doubt and allowing them to be who they are.
Other times, it’s more complicated.
This is especially true when they have hurt you in the past or haven’t been forthcoming with important information.
While most people have the capacity to change their behaviour and become more trustworthy over time, that doesn’t mean it will always happen automatically or at a rate that works for everyone involved.
10. YOU HAVE STOPPED TRYING TO MAKE YOUR SPOUSE HAPPY.
If you have stopped trying to make your spouse happy, then it is likely that you are in an unhappy marriage.
You have probably been married for a while and you are so used to each other that you don’t even try anymore.
This isn’t a good thing. If you haven’t tried in years and years, then it’s time to give up on the marriage.
Your spouse has stopped trying to make you happy too.
If he or she has stopped making an effort in the relationship, then it’s time to call it quits before things get even worse.
It can be easy for both parties to stop trying if they are bored with each other or if they just don’t feel like making an effort anymore.
It’s amazing how quickly this happens when there is no passion left between two people who once loved one another so much.
11. YOU DON’T TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO WHAT’S ON YOUR SPOUSE’S MIND.
A boring marriage is one where the two people in it do not communicate with each other.
They don’t share their thoughts and feelings, and they don’t make efforts to understand each other.
They are simply going through the motions of life together, not really connecting with each other at all.
This can be a very lonely place to be, so it’s important that you both work hard at keeping things exciting and fresh between you!
12. YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING ANGRY OVER THINGS THAT USED TO BE NO BIG DEAL.
You find yourself getting angry over things that used to be no big deal.
As you get older, your tolerance for annoying things can diminish.
You might have been able to tolerate it when your husband left his dirty clothes on the floor before, but now you can’t help feeling frustrated by it.
This is normal, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is in trouble.
However, if this is happening more frequently than before, then you may have a problem.
13. YOU START COMPARING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS.
It can be tempting to compare yourself with other couples in order to determine whether or not yours is healthy.
However, this can lead to resentment and bitterness because you will always find someone who seems happier than you are — even if they’re not actually happier at all.
14. YOU HAVE TROUBLE COMMUNICATING WITH EACH OTHER.
When couples stop communicating effectively with each other, it can lead to resentment and tension within the relationship.
If one spouse isn’t interested in talking about problems or feelings, this could certainly contribute to a boring marriage.
15. YOU ARE BORED WITH EACH OTHER’S COMPANY AND NEED A BREAK FROM EACH OTHER.
You are bored with each other’s company and need a break from each other.
A few months ago, you were so excited to spend time with your spouse.
You couldn’t wait to see them when they got home from work, and you were always eager to hear what they had to say.
Now, it feels like you’re just going through the motions.
You don’t feel like yourself anymore.
You feel like you’re a different person who just happens to share your body with the same soul that was there before.
You’ve become so accustomed to this new version of yourself that it’s hard for you to remember what it felt like to be happy all the time.
If this sounds like something that could be happening in your marriage, then congratulations.
You have probably been married long enough for boredom to set in.
CONCLUSION:
It’s never too late to connect with your spouse again, but it may take more effort than before.
Of course, the number one way to fight boredom in your marriage is to communicate with each other.
By communicating, not only do you get to spend more time together, but you also make it more likely that you’ll be able to tackle problems as they arise.
This can help prevent boredom from reaching a level that’s too difficult to come back from.
So how can you improve your communication skills?
Try asking your spouse about his or her day at work or school.
Or, if he has any exciting plans coming up.
Listen carefully and give him a chance to tell you what he thinks without interrupting him.
When you ask questions and listen with interest when they answer, it shows them that you are interested in what’s going on in their life.
Another way couples often connect is through humour and laughter.
Many of us remember the way we laughed when we first started dating—remember those days?
If so, try spending some time watching a funny movie together or just talking about funny things that have happened recently in both of your lives, instead of letting yourself fall into the trap of taking everything so seriously all the time.
It’s never too late for couples who feel bored or stuck in their relationship to reconnect with each other again.
But it may take more effort than before since people change over time, which means new interests might emerge as well as different opinions on certain topics, which makes communication even more important.
Hopefully, these tips will help get things back on track.
